


Shits, Giggles, and Extra Credit

by appletakatora



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Smut starts in chapter 3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-27
Updated: 2014-02-19
Packaged: 2018-01-10 05:42:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,781
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1155784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appletakatora/pseuds/appletakatora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You admit you have a less-than-perfect grade in English Language Arts, and you probably should attempt to raise it to at least a B-. So when your teacher suggested the school spelling bee, you were pretty happy he'd give out extra credit to those who won and went to continue in the championships.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Grades

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first fic I've posted and I think I'm ready for no responses at all yay
> 
> Sorry for the really small chapter, the next one will be longer (I hope).

Your name is Dave Strider, and you’re a cool kid. You don’t have time for correct grammar, or shit like that. That is, until Bro expressed his concerns for your grades through a "family activity".

 It was a pretty dry winter, and there was barely any rain. You think there was a fire at one point. Well, now it’s the following spring, and fuck if it isn’t hot. It’s Saturday and there’s no school on Monday. So you’ve resorted to being an unmoving heap of overheated human flesh rotting on your Bro’s beloved futon.

 You feel something metallic and slightly cooler than the room temperature hit your back. “Strife.”  You barely get a whine out of your throat as a response before feeling a current of air as Bro flashsteps out of the apartment. You lay there for a moment longer before slowly pulling yourself out of the couch and catching the sword. You head to your room to pull on a pair of shorts because fuck sweating in skinny jeans and your strifing shirt. You’d wear your normal t-shirt, but at that rate, you’d be going to school in rags.

 When you finally complete your ascent to the roof of the apartment complex Bro’s nowhere to be seen. Of course he’s using his ninja skills today. Wonderful. You take a seat by the air conditioning unit, your back leaning against the metal surface. The sun hasn’t heated this side, so you take your time to study the setting on the roof.  You scour the eye-level objects before craning your neck up to look at the cell receptor. A white figure flits around the crossbeams. There’s your bro. You curl into a ball, hidden by the shadow. You keep an eye on his slowly descending figure, and you push your elbow into his midsection as his foot is about to reach the floor. He exhales out violently, his katana falling out of his hand and skittering away. You cut a shallow gash along his left ribs and jump out of danger’s way.

 Bro catches himself with his hands before he falls, pushing back up to perform a back flip (fucking showoff, jeez) and picks up his blade to turn to you. “Nice one,” he lowers the bill of his cap to further bury his upper face in dramatic shadow, and that’s all the warning you get. He flashsteps around you, encasing you in a brief circle of white and cuts a similar gash along your left calf. You yelp in surprise and fall on your ass (wow, didn’t you just one-up him thirty-four seconds ago?), your katana now falling out of reach. You instinctively put up your forearms to protect your face and hesitate when nothing happens.

 You carefully look through a crack between your arms to find Bro looking down at you. Just looking. At you. Fuck if that isn’t scarier than Satan himself. _Grow a pair_ , you sloppily flashstep to maneuver around Bro to get behind him. He turns around, swinging his katana at you. The blade cuts fairly deeply in your right shoulder and your breath hitches. Ow, fuck. You duck and aim to retrieve your katana, but Bro reads you and intercepts your legs. You fall on your stomach, landing with a grunt. _It's too hot for this shit_ , you think to yourself.

You push yourself back up only to have Bro kick away your blade. "Hey..!" He throws aside his own katana and you jump back up as quickly as possible. God, you hated hand-to-hand combat. He gives you the mercy of starting so you aim a right to his jaw and hit his adam's apple instead (whups, you forgot how fucking tall he is). He makes a gagging noise and you worry you've crossed the line until he returns the favor by swinging a (rather large) fist at your stomach and you barely block it in time. Another left is aimed at your face. Bro continues to rain punches and sometimes kicks at you, forcing you to go on the defensive, though you manage to get in a few kicks. You can feel drips of sweat running along the contours of your face and more beading on your back. Bro is in a similar predicament, but with less bacterial liquid dripping from his chin. You're slowly forced to retreat back to a scorching hot side of the AC unit, and fuck your ripped shirt does _not_ help. You yelp at the heat and squirm on the floor for a moment until you see Bro smirking at you. _I_ _s he amused by your pain?_   Your eyebrow twitches and you flashstep behind him and shove him to the burning coolant system. The fucker just pushes off of it like no sweat, even letting a hand linger longer than your back did. Well that's not fair, his hands are gloved. He swings a leg under your heel and you fall on your ass again, this time throwing up your hands in surrender. "Okay fine, you win. Just let me off of this roof of molten rubber and gravel."

 “Ain’t happy ‘bout yer grades in English, kiddo. Ask fer extra credit or redo a test. You can take the shower. Looks like you need it more than me.” And with that, he leaves you on the roof. You groan. You are not a "kiddo". You pick up both of your katanas and proceed downstairs to wash yourself clean.

After making sure you used all the hot water and an unnecessary amount of Bro's favorite hygiene products, you waste the rest of the day sleeping. Not that you needed it, but it was better than doing nothing, you guess.

 

Come Tuesday, you didn't really want to get up at what you perceived as the asscrack of dawn for education. Seven in the morning was way too early for that shit. But you manage to arrive on time with a bit of persuasion from Lil Cal. School went on just like normal. Two periods before recess, three before lunch, and two after. English being your final and least favorite subject of the day, you often go home in a rather indifferent mood. Today though, you were given a lucky break from the passive-agressive pummeling from Bro about your failing score. The teacher mentioned about a school spelling bee and how the winner can move up to local, regional, and national branches and he'd give out extra credit for each branch won. Huh, you guess spelling for extra credit isn't bad, so before you trudge home you pick up a spelling list in the office.


	2. Study Buddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for all the responses! I was genuinely surprised.
> 
> Well, I keep my word. Here's chapter two!

You toss your shit at the foot of your chair and sit on aforementioned chair to look at the list. Eh, most of the stuff seems pretty simple enough. Epiphany, obscure, abscond, turmoil, corduroy, wattage... Yeah, most of this stuff just requires common sense. You flip through some more pages to find words from different lanugage origins (what even is a hoomalimali?). Cool. You set the list under your monitor to present to Bro later and you finish up today's homework.

Come dinner (which is really whenever you feel hungry) you heat up a few slices of cold pizza and settle yourself on the futon to watch some mindless sitcom. You absently wonder when Bro will get home. After a couple minutes more of excessively long beauty product commercials, your malfunctioning door jerks open and Bro busts in before violently kicking the plank of wood back closed. _Speak of the devil._ "Yo," you call behind you, nonchalantly changing the channel to some old cartoon. You think this pink dog seems familiar, but that's the least of your concerns.

"Sup." You hear him kick off his shoes and he hurdles over the back of the futon to land next to you. Any other person would flip their shit, but this is a daily occurence in the Strider household. "Nothing," you reply as you bring your attention to the little pink dog on the TV screen once again being frightened by the husband. Eustace, was his name?

"Finish yer homework?"

"Yeah. Got a chance for extra credit in Doc's class."

"What is it?"

"A spelling bee."

"Study the list."

"Already am."

"Good." Bro slightly relaxes his position, swinging an arm around your ~~much~~ slightly smaller frame.

"Don't." You keep an eye on the advancing hand creeping closer to your pizza. Bro chuckles, ruffling your hair and standing up. You groan internally at the hair-ruffling. You both know you have terrible bed head and he knows you spent a good amount of your time making it look presentable. You finish your food and go back in your room to check the spelling list again.

 

Wednesday was entrance day for the spelling bee and you started to reconsider your plans. You're not exactly known for being an intelligent individual, and you're sure you won't win. Welp, yolo, right? You scribble your name on the sign up sheet in Doctor Scratch's class and turn to sit back in your desk and someone bumps into you. You look down to see big-ass blue eyes, a pure blue that puts the Californian sky to shame. Wow. He squeaks and he hesitates once he realizes who you are. Wow, you're not some imperious and arrogant tyrant. You're a coolkid. That's all. No big deal.

"Uh, sorry... I didn't mean to.."

"Nah, it's all cool," you shrug indifferently and step out of the way for the little squirt. You watch him apologize again and he adjusts his rectangular glasses. You proceed back to your desk without anymore awkward interruptions. As you sit down though, your eyes wandered back to the boy who bumped into you earlier. He was pretty cute (kawaii probably fits the term better though), a couple inches shorter than you (well, you inherited your height from Bro so of course you're not averagely heightened) and his unruly black hair seemed to be perfect even though it looked like he doesn't attempt to tame it. You also kinda like the way he bites his lower lip. Looks like his teeth gained massive size instead legs, damn. His eyes flick back to you and immediately looks away when he sees you staring. Yeah, you should probably stop staring.

When you get home, you pull out the study list seeing you have no homework and you start memorizing a few columns. For a moment, you consider having Bro for a spelling buddy (not because you're letting yourself cheat, of course), but Bro would intitiate a strife every few words. Shit wouldn't go down at that rate. Maybe him... Nah, he'd piss his pants if you asked him for help. But who else would study with you..? You internally sigh and decide to ask him tomorrow. Though he'd probably decline. Yeah, he'd decline. Whatever. That'd be okay too.

 

You finish up scribbling the last of Doc's notes and proceed to draw a Sweet Bro on the margins. You sit back, watching Doc finish his lecture until you hear the bell ring. You gather your things and look around for the boy. He's on his way out, so you follow him. After being far away from any main groups you catch up to the boy. _Shit, what do I say?_

"Hey," the poor dude almost drops his books (wow you must be a fucking ninja to surprise him that much) and turns to you, exhaling in relief. He still stutters, though.

"Oh, uh, hi," the boy offers a small smile to which in turn you do nothing. He stops walking, and you stop too. "Do you need something?"

"Yeah, I actually do." The guy looks a bit surprised to find you're asking him for help, but you shrug it off. "I saw you sign up for the spelling bee. My bro isn't the best when it comes to a 'study buddy'," you make an air quotation with one hand while the other balances your books, "so I was wondering if you'd like to."

The boy looks stunned for a moment (well of course he does, he's talking to Dave motherfucking Strider) and he answers, "uhh, sure, I guess."

"Sweet. Thanks, man." You smirk a bit at him and his face flushes. How cute. "Also," you catch him before he runs off, "what's your name?"

"John. John Egbert."

"You should know me, but I'm Dave. Dave Strider."

"Heh, yeah, I know." John smiles and he runs off to steal an open spot in front of his locker, and you do the same.

You go home and after finishing your homework you study some more words from new columns of the study list.

 

When you get up for school the next day, You throw in your study list along with your homework and youth roll out the door before Bro can mentally scar you again with Lil Cal. The first four periods go by fairly quickly and you hear the bell ring to declare the time for lunch as you wheel your DJ equipment into the stage's storage shelves. You leave your classmates with a wave of acknowledgement when they bid you farewell. You put everything away in your locker, taking out a few dollar bills before strolling to the lunch line. There you see John in the middle of the line. He's well close to the beginning of the line, but not close enough for the "security guard" to notice. In fact, she's slacking off right now. You slip in right behind John, muttering a quiet "sup."

He successfully hears it well enough to squeak and turn around. He does that cute little exhale of relief like yesterday and replies, "hi."

"So, have a specific place to study, or are you fine with me picking?"

John looks a little nervous at the latter choice, obviously thinking you hang out with the school douches. How ironic, that the coolkid actually has no one to permanently eat with. How ironic indeed.

"Uh.. I don't wanna interrupt what your schedule is with your friends, so... I guess if you're okay with eating with me and my sister we can study there. Oh, and she's also signed up too so we can all study."

"Well actually I don't eat with anyone. But I would like to meet your sister." The two of you move up the line and pick out your lunches. John's surprised (well no shit sherlock you're _the_ coolkid and you eat with no one) but he doesn't let the fact hold against him and he leads you two under the largest tree on campus. There sits a girl with similar black hair, though exceptionally long and actually well-kept.

"Dave, this is Jade, my sister. Hey, Jade. This is Dave." The girl turns her head to look at you. Instead of John's sky blue eyes, she has forest green. Damn, does this whole family have a reputation for beautiful eyes? She looks a bit surprised (wow really it's no big deal) but then she smile brightly and greets him. "Hi, Dave!" She turns over to John, giving him a confused look. "I don't mean to be rude, but I thought he was... busy?"

John chuckles a bit (wow that's a nice chuckle no shit wait what) and says, "I know, but he says he doesn't really eat with anyone else. He also signed up for the spelling bee, so he asked me if we could study together." Jade's mouth makes a dainty little "o" shape and drawls out a long "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh...." to accompany it. Okay, so maybe it wasn't just John that was adorable. It must run in the family. John still has a pretty nice chuckle. You internally note to make him actually laugh some time and slap yourself in the face for thinking about John like this. He settles down in front of Jade, patting the spot next to him and looking up at you expectantly. You try to restrain yourself from looking too excited and you sit down to eat with them.

For the remainder of the lunch period the three of you exchange jokes (wow jade that was really offensive) and talk, and you don't go close to studying together. Which is fine by you, you would spend the entire day like this with them if you could. Especially John. Well, no, John and Jade. But you seem to be more attracted to John. But wait. No. What.

Your name is Dave Strider and you hope you aren't already falling for John Egbert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, I hope that's long enough for a chapter!
> 
> And in case you didn't notice, the little pink dog is referencing Courage the Cowardly Dog. I loved that show (still do, I miss it a lot).
> 
> Next chapter will be in John's POV!


	3. Oh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which John wants to frickle frackle with Dave

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter, I'm running out of ideas and i shouldn't have a writer's block this severe
> 
> but hey i upd8ed

You still internally cringe at the time when you ran into Dave. Sometimes you even hit your forehead and yell “idiot!” at yourself. Your name is John Egbert and you bumped into Dave Strider, a rad dude with a hellacious ego. He’d practically be the king of this school, if there were an established monarchy. You guess all is forgiven when he asks you to be his study buddy almost a month ago because, hey, he signed up for the spelling bee too. You, in all your dorkish glory, stuttered out a “sure, I guess”. Nice going, dweeb. Well, you guess that should be an honest compliment because it worked. You bonded with him during lunch the next day, exchanging jokes with your sister, Jade Harley (oh my god jade you just made fun of your own culture).

“You should totally go for it!” Jade sets down her pencil in second period, eyes widening in excitement. You make an obviously audible sigh and slouch further until you feel like your back’s going to bust. “I don’t know, Jade. What if it’s just my hormones, or what if he doesn’t like me back?” Jade pouts, her brows furrowing at you. Uh oh.

“Jonathan Crocker Egbert, you will capture Mister Strider’s heart or so help me, _I will end him_.” You widen your eyes in turn of surprise at the last part. “Jade, I think you’re being a little excessive with this.” “What, no. I’m fine.” She smiles and picks up her pencil to continue scribbling notes. You pick up yours as well to do the same. You’ll ask Dave, but you’re waiting for the right time. Yeah, just waiting for the correct timing.

 

This time at lunch, the three of you finally go around to studying the spelling list, but not without Jade pulling out another joke (jade are you fucking serious?). You find out Dave likes to draw, and some of his works are really amazing, you think (no john its just a doodle stop taking it so seriously jeez) and when he smiles which is really not that often he looks at least ten times more beautiful and that’s when your heart beats at least ten times faster and no you’re staring at him stop john oh no he’s looking at you too, is he staring too? No he’s not, stop it John. You look down at your feet and slouch a bit. You think this is the only time you want Jade to crack a joke because this is becoming too awkward. And thank whatever higher power is watching over you, because Jade asks you guys to focus on spelling.

The next few days end up like this, studying with your sister and ~~crush~~ best friend. Sometimes you end up looking at his face and how his arms are toned with lean muscle. His cheekbones are defined sharply, and you find that kinda hot. John, are you listening to yourself? Stupid teenage hormones.

 

After you suffer through two more classes, you’re dismissed and you wait for Jade to hurry up and get her flute before beginning a walk through quiet neighborhoods to reach your little house. It’s not much, just a one-story house with a kitchen, three bedrooms, a living room, and dining room. You’ve talked with your dad and Jade about moving, but it isn’t brought up much.

You drop your bag on the floor of your room, slinking under your neatly folded covers to lie facedown in your bed for a good ten minutes. You really should work on your homework, but you have something else on your mind right now. You peek to see that the door’s closed. It’s not. You sigh, and get up to close and lock the door with an affirming click.

You slouch with your back against your headboard. Its hard surface rubs against your back and you squirm a bit until you fit a pillow in between. There.

You take a steadying breath before unzipping your pants. You actually haven’t done this in… some time. Well, you haven’t needed to. You guess you should have a little relief, you think as you unbutton your pants and slide them off with your boxers. You pull out your barely hard member, giving it a few pumps until it begins to leak precum.  You breathe heavily, and you start to picture that really nice girl who sits in front of you, rubbing precum over your shaft instead of yourself. Then the girl starts to morph from female to male. Her cream blouse and tight skinny denim jeans turn into a red t-shirt and worn black jeans. She has platinum-blonde hair now, short and expertly combed, and she has shades on. Your fantasy is now Dave. Now Fantasy-Dave is licking up to the tip your head. You shiver as your thumb reenacts the process and you smear precum all over your head again. Fantasy-Dave smirks at you, and you have a slight urge to smack him upside the head, if he wasn’t a figment of your imagination. Fantasy-Dave opens his mouth, his hot breath coming in teasing pants. “Tell me what you want,” he says and wow that is hot. You groan as Fantasy-Dave takes you in his warm, inviting mouth, and slowly bobs, going further each dive until his nose bumps against the base. You whimper as your hand can only squeeze to try to stimulate the tightness of a throat and you wiggle your thumb to copy what Fantasy-Dave is doing with his tongue. In the back corners of your mind you make a mental note to see if he can actually do that. Fantasy-Dave pulls off and you finish when he jerks you a few final pumps. Fantasy-Dave gives a smile, an “I love you,” and you’re back in the real world.

You sigh as worry replaces the pleasure quickly. You pull up your pants and boxers and all but shove your now flaccid dick in your pants and now you can’t help but to stand from your bed and pace. Your name is John Egbert and you just masturbated to your best friend.


End file.
